


sweetwind

by sohnist



Category: The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Aftercare, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Aphrodisiacs, Blow Jobs, Crying, Double Penetration, Exhibitionism, Explicit Consent, Facials, First Time, Getting Together, Hand Jobs, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, M/M, Manhandling, Masturbation, Multiple Orgasms, Sex Pollen, Size Difference, Size Kink, Subspace
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-05
Updated: 2020-08-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:08:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25729453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sohnist/pseuds/sohnist
Summary: it starts as just a strange feeling, crawling up eric’s spine and settling somewhere in his chest. it’s nothing he can name yet—just odd, almost unsettling. it feels hot, and it makes him shake, melting into his veins and filling him right down to his fingertips.something's wrong.
Relationships: Bae Joonyoung | Jacob/Son Youngjae | Eric, Lee Jaehyun | Hyunjae/Son Youngjae | Eric, Lee Sangyeon/Son Youngjae | Eric, Moon Hyungseo | Kevin/Son Youngjae | Eric
Comments: 39
Kudos: 204





	sweetwind

**Author's Note:**

> quick disclaimers:
> 
> 1) the sex in this is not very safe or realistic in any way. this fic has fantasy elements that make some of these things possible. i.e., do not try this at home, lol.
> 
> 2) this scenario is caused by someone (a fan) drugging eric without his consent. the drug is a made up pseudo-magical serum that makes him horny out of his mind and he can only be cured if he gets fucked several times, basically. despite this, anything he does with the members is completely 100% consensual and is talked through clearly while he is level-headed. eric trusts them all very much and is 100% fine with it, hence why explicit consent is tagged. the set-up is not framed as good. it's not framed as a good thing that this happens to him, but the members want to help him because he needs their help. also in the end, it's implied that the fan will be prosecuted. however, if despite that, the premise still bothers you, don't worry about clicking off of this fic! i would rather you be comfortable than anything and i understand this fic is unconventional and most people won't like it. but please, don't read it out of spite or leave a hurtful comment. just move along if it's not for you.
> 
> 3) this is completely self-indulgent and very horny. sorry eric.

it starts as just a strange feeling, crawling up eric’s spine and settling somewhere in his chest. it’s nothing he can name yet—just odd, almost unsettling. when it persists for hours throughout the day, he wonders if he’s feeling nausea, or maybe even heartburn, but soon after that it bleeds out into the rest of him, melting into his veins and filling him right down to his fingertips. it feels hot, and it makes him shake, and he wonders, again, if maybe he’s starting to get sick, or if he ate something that had spoiled.

eric feels like it works too fast to be any kind of illness, starting in the morning after they eat breakfast at the broadcast recording, and building up throughout the day. he’s been walking on eggshells the whole time, drinking as much water as possible and hoping that whatever his body was doing to him would hold out until he had made it home and was safe, away from fans who would needlessly worry.

by the time they pile into their cars at the end of the day and head back to the dorms, eric is barely able to hide how much he’s shaking. he feels a cold sweat hit him as he sits there sandwiched between sunwoo and the window. no matter how much he presses himself against the cool glass, he can still feel where sunwoo’s body is touching his. it’s not even much, just their legs barely grazing each other every couple minutes when sunwoo shifts around, but eric feels it like a shock of heat every time they do. he figures he’s just overheated and too sensitive, probably has a fever, and all he can do is pray that the traffic will move faster so he can curl up in bed and sleep whatever this is off.

eric knows that the others are noticing how toned down he is today, much quieter than usual and closing himself off from them. he’s been like that ever since it started, trying to focus all his energy on keeping himself together in front of fans and staff. the others don't like to invade his space that often, don't like to intrude and ask too many questions when he seems down, because they know he's more likely to shut himself off if they do. so instead of them badgering him all day, he just gets concerned looks, and a hand on the shoulder here and there. in some ways, it's nice that they don't pressure him, but sometimes he wishes that they would force him to rest when he clearly needs it.

it takes them way too long to get back to the dorms because of traffic, and for once eric doesn't relax on the drive home. normally he might listen to music or take a nap, but it's impossible today with how on edge he is. it's suffocatingly hot in the car—or at least it feels that way—and he has to stop himself from asking them to turn the a/c up multiple times. it would only draw suspicion, and he's starting to feel like something's _wrong_ , something more than just having being sick or a fever, but he can't place it, head too muddled to think straight.

the moment the van pulls into the garage and parks, eric is out the door. he tries not to make it seem like he's rushing, but hopefully the others will understand his general avidity to be home. standing up and keeping his balance is more difficult than he anticipates, and he has to lean on the car to keep himself upright as he waits for the others to join him. every time the hot, stuffy air of the garage fills his lungs, he feels like he's drowning in boiling water. normally, it wouldn't bother him that much, but today it's almost intolerable.

"you okay, eric?" hyunjae says suddenly, from his left. it startles him and he tries not to show how much it did, but the look on hyunjae's face tells him he didn't hide it well.

"yeah, just... tired. and it's hot in here. wanna get in the shower." eric can feel the sweat dripping down his temples and back. it disgusts him. he really _does_ want a shower.

"you can have first dibs then," is all hyunjae says in response, patting eric's shoulder in an attempt to comfort him. what he doesn't expect is for eric to flinch away suddenly, and gasp. hyunjae didn't even touch his bare skin, only gave him a light tap through his t-shirt, and yet it felt like being burned. it wasn't… _bad_ , though. just… a lot. weird.

"s-sorry," eric mumbles when he sees the shocked and confused look on hyunjae's face. the others starts heading towards the dorm so he follows suit, picking up the pace and leaving a bewildered hyunjae behind.

eric doesn't say anything else on the way to the dorm, taking care to not accidentally touch or brush against someone. at this point he has no idea what's happening, but he knows that physical contact makes it more intense, and he doesn't want that. he wants it to stop.

as soon as they get inside the apartment, eric makes a beeline for his room, depositing his bag on the bed and quickly grabbing some comfortable clothes from his closet. today he's going for maximum comfort: his softest t-shirt and coziest sweatpants. after his shower—which will hopefully cure him, or at least relieve most of his discomfort—he plans to go to bed and sleep it off. the others have seen how weird he's being today, so hopefully they'll understand and just let him go to bed early.

usually, his aching muscles want a warm shower to relax them after a long day, but today he's so overheated that the idea is unimaginable. even the _thought_ of steam makes him feel faint. eric locks the bathroom door behind him and quickly strips down to nothing. already, he feels better. eric turns on the shower, setting the temperature to cold, but not icy. just enough to cool him down.

as soon as the water hits him, he gasps, letting the cold water coat him and pour down his face. it feels... _relieving_ , at least, but still shocks him, and for a minute he just stands there, propping himself up with his hands on the cool tiles, and lets himself get used to it.

with the water cooling him down, he can feel how hot he really is now. his face especially, and every other part of his body feels degrees hotter than they should. and, he's still dizzy, having to lean on the wall for support. eric stands there, eyes closed, and tries to think of what it feels like. it's familiar to him, yet completely foreign at the same time. heat, filling him up and making him dizzy, making him gasp, unable to concentrate, sensitive to touch—

eric's eyes snap open when he realizes. how he could've been _this_ stupid, he doesn't know. it's obvious now, especially with the sting as the cold water hits his cock, how turned on he is. he's not hard, not yet, but in realizing he already feels himself getting there, _fast_. it's so unexpected, so _wrong_ that he couldn't figure it out until his head was cool—both literally and figuratively.

now, the question remains: why? eric almost wants to panic when he realizes that he's been like this all day, with it growing worse as time went on. there's nothing that caused it—he knows that. so _why?_ it can't just be his hormones being out of whack, right? it's been days since he's been able to get off, but he's gone weeks without before and nothing like this ever happened, just mounting frustration.

trying to figure it out when he's still so overheated isn't working. all it's doing is making him panic more, so he decides to try and relax. he knows what it is that's been bothering him, now he can take care of it, right? simple as that. today, he has a bit of time, so he'll take it slow instead of pumping one out quickly like he usually has to because of the fact that he lives with eleven other people.

first, he washes himself, wanting to get the utilitarian part of the shower out of the way. unsurprisingly, he's much more sensitive than usual, his skin breaking out in goosebumps everywhere as he touches himself, even innocently. something is definitely... _much_ different about it, but he tries to ignore it and focuses on finishing up.

when he reaches his hair, the notion that something is weird about how turned on he is rings in the back of his mind again, because his nails on his scalp feel heavenly. eric has to stop himself from moaning out loud at the last minute when he zones out and gets lost in it. at this point, he's not even _trying_ to get off yet, and it still feels way too good.

now that he's clean, he can do what his body has been begging him to all day. it always makes him slightly nervous to have to do this, knowing that other people are around. he worries that somehow they _know_ , despite him being as quiet as possible. it's not a secret that all of them have to get off somehow—they prefer to ignore it if they hear anything, anyway. but still—the idea that one of them could know makes him feel shy to touch himself, even if the idea turns him on more, too.

eric palms his cock, gently at first to try and build up sensation. water runs down his chest and coats his cock and he moves his hand, slicking it up and making the slide a little easier. the cold water would probably shock him out of it, normally, but today it feels good. his body is still overheated, and the more he touches himself the worse it gets.

the drag of his hand almost feels like overstimulation, only making him feel dizzier, instead of relieving the pressure like it should be. it's odd, but he opts to keep going, hoping that he's just too pent up and reacting differently.

eric braces himself against the wall with his forearm, pressing his forehead to it. he slowly swirls his hand over the head of his cock. the sensation is too much too fast, and he has to bite his arm to stop himself from yelling. he moves his hand faster and faster, and the feeling builds, but it's _wrong_ somehow, prickly and makes him feel like panicking. already, he feels like he should be cumming, sitting right on the precipice of it, but it doesn't happen. eventually his wrist starts to ache and he stops, almost crying in frustration. it isn't what he needs, and he knows it.

for a moment, eric just stands there and pants, giving himself a moment to breathe, and to think. there's something wrong with him, something different. he didn't want to admit it, because he was really, _really_ hoping he would be able to solve it on his own. he still hopes he can, but he just has to think _how_.

eric's thoughts drift to something else, something _new_ and his face somehow flushes hotter at the thought. despite the fact that touching himself didn't solve the problem, his head seems to be a little clearer now, enough to be embarrassed at his own mind.

still bracing himself on the wall, his other hand moves to his backside, and slips cautiously between his cheeks. gently, he presses the tip of his index finger against his rim. it feels _weird_ , and he stands there unmoving, contemplating. he's never done this to himself before, but he's definitely thought about it many times. there's just never been a good moment alone. admittedly, he's also a little scared to try, given that he's not even really sure how to go about it. his hand drops, and he abandons the idea. it won't be enough—he can sense it, somehow. 

he needs someone else.

it's a dangerous thought to have. it would be a lie to say eric's never thought about the other members in that way—it would be impossible not to. no matter how much he had tried to deny it to himself, eric's been aware of his sexuality for quite a while now. if he _hadn't_ figured out that he’s gay after living in a dorm with eleven other extremely attractive men, he would be incredibly dense. he could never tell any of them, of course. it would ruin everything, for them to know. they probably wouldn't want to be around him anymore, especially if they ever find out about his crush—or at least, attraction—to _all_ of them.

sometimes it makes eric feel sick to know how much he wants them. it doesn't feel like he's even allowed to think about it, like he's invading their privacy somehow by simply having a thought. other times, he doesn't care, can't _let_ himself care because he _needs_ to think about it, or else he'll explode. needs to think about their hands on him, holding him down, fucking him until he can't think, telling him he's good. eric can't even count how many times he's made himself cum to those thoughts. even now, they make a shiver run up his spine, and he feels need wash through him almost painfully.

even worse is that beyond the attraction he feels to them, there’s one member he feels more than just attraction for. eric had tried to convince himself he didn’t have those feelings for a while and focused on the others instead, but every time he thinks about them his thoughts inevitably wind back up with sangyeon. the attraction he feels to the others is only surface-level, completely instinctual and nothing more. but with sangyeon… 

the amount of times eric had been daydreaming and ended up thinking about him—holding his hand, being held by him, kissed by him, touched by him. the way his heart would ache any time sangyeon was particularly kind to him, and looked out for him. all the times he would listen to his worries patiently, even if it was the middle of the night. all the times he had comforted him while he was crying. it was intoxicating and painful, and sometimes far too romantic to stomach, because deep down he knew that any notion of sangyeon returning those feelings was next to impossible.

eric’s thoughts have wandered too far, and he catches himself when he’s reminded of the glaring and painful problem he still has to deal with. resolving it himself didn’t work, and there’s really nothing else he can do.

maybe he can still sleep it off.

eric shuts off the shower and dries himself off quickly, craving his bed even more now. the faster he sleeps, the faster this problem is gone. there's nothing he can do about it, so the best solution is to just pretend it doesn't exist, right? he dresses quickly, doing his best to cover up his still-painfully-hard cock. luckily, the shirt is oversized and covers enough of it for him to get to his room without being seen.

as soon as he reaches his room, which is thankfully empty of his roommate, he dives under the covers and bundles himself in them like a cocoon. it hasn't been that long since he was in the shower, and yet he's already heating up again to an unnatural level. the shower only helped in the moment, and not in the long run, it seems. despite how warm he is, he burrows himself tighter in the blankets, craving comfort of some kind. what he really wants is for someone else to be holding him, but he tries not to dwell on it too long, and tries to empty his mind so he can sleep instead.

not even ten minutes pass before there's a knock at the door.

"yeah?" eric answers uncertainly, voice sounding rougher than he expects.

the door opens to reveal sangyeon, and he groans internally. the last thing he needs right now is sangyeon. despite how wonderfully caring he is, he suspects it might make his problem worse.

sangyeon leaves the door open and walks right up to his bedside, sitting down next to him.

"are you feeling okay, eric? i noticed you acting off today." luckily, he keeps his hands to himself. sangyeon has a tendency to be touchy when he's worried, and eric doesn't want to know how his body would react to being touched, even if it's completely innocent.

"yeah, i'm fine, just really tired. i kind of just want to sleep." eric knows he sounds unconvincing. his voice is... weird, strained, and rough, and his face is hot and red.

"are you sure? you look flushed, are you getting sick?" sangyeon brings a hand up and presses it against his forehead, and he does it so quickly that eric wouldn't have been able to stop him if he tried. sangyeon's palm is warm and solid and _comforting_ and exactly what he needs. the feeling of it sends waves of pleasure through him, way more than it should. eric closes his eyes and melts into it, an obvious moan coming out of his mouth before he realizes what's happening.

they both freeze in place, and sangyeon jerks his hand away like it's been burned. eric doesn't have time to think about the shocked look on his face because kevin appears in the doorway, followed by jacob and hyunjae.

"what's up, guys? is eric okay?" kevin is the first to speak out of the three of them as they gently crowd into the room, still choosing to hover by the doorway. none of them seem to have realized what they interrupted, and eric is grateful for it.

sangyeon turns towards them with a start, not realizing their presence, and stutters.

"u-um, i—" his voice gives it away, that something is wrong, and all of them move closer. eric hides under the blankets completely, tugging them close. it's too much—all four of them, so close to him, he can't let them know. sangyeon already knows _something_ , and it's a mistake, it's too _much_ —

another person sits on the bed—kevin, he thinks—next to sangyeon. a gentle hand settles on his shoulder from above the blankets. even through several layers of fabric, his shoulder blooms hot where it's touched and spreads. eric whimpers and curls into an even smaller ball.

there's a moment where the four of them mumble amongst themselves, but eric's not sure what they're saying, too preoccupied with trying to breathe. it's stuffy under the blankets, and _hot_ , hotter than he'd realized. being underneath there and trapped with himself isn't doing him any good. he'll have to come out soon, but he can't face them, he just _can't_. not like this.

"eric, please tell us what's wrong, we just want to help," the hand on his shoulder squeezes—it's definitely kevin—and eric has to bite his lip to stifle the moan he wants to make at the feeling of his fingertips pressing into him.

"i don't—i don't know, i think i ate something weird," eric says, hopefully loud enough so they can hear him.

"something weird? do you mean, like, spoiled? is it food poisoning?" kevin presses on.

"no..."

"we can't help if you don't tell us what it feels like, eric." suddenly, jacob speaks up. the idea of having to describe what's happening to him is nauseating; he can't even face them as they try and help, there's no _way_ he can do that.

"i can't," eric says, trying to hide the waver in his voice.

"why not?" hyunjae pipes up, from somewhere behind the others.

after a moment of contemplation, eric answers. "it's embarrassing, and—and you'll be mad at me."

"i promise we won't be mad at you, okay eric? we just want you to feel better." sangyeon finally speaks again, and eric feels momentarily relieved that he's the one saying it. already, he's been so worried that he ruined things with sangyeon, and it added to his already fuzzy brain.

carefully, eric shuffles his head out from under the covers—just his head, for now, and he still can't make eye contact with any of them, choosing to look off to the side instead. there's a moment of silence where they wait for him to elaborate, and he tries to find the words—and the courage to say them.

"it feels like... like i'm—" eric takes a deep breath and covers his eyes with his hands before continuing, "like i'm turned on." there's a beat of silence before he stammers on, feeling mortified beyond belief, to the point where he might cry. "but it's not normal it's like—i don't know. something's wrong."

"do you think that you took something?" sangyeon says, deep concern in his voice. it hadn't even occurred to eric—the idea that someone might want to drug him and make him like this was almost more terrifying than the experience itself.

"not that i know of, but—" 

and then he remembers.

this morning, at the tv station, when they ate their breakfast. they received the meals as a set, as a gift from fans like they usually did, and each little meal was packaged and labelled with their names. there was nothing unusual about it, only that eric had noticed that the seal was broken on his. why he didn't say anything, he doesn't know. it never occurred to him that someone might try to hurt him, or, apparently, make him horny out of his mind with some kind of drug. it doesn't seem likely that something like this even exists, but here he is, experiencing it.

eric tells them what he remembers, feeling guiltier every time the expression on one of their faces changes, and when kevin lets out a small gasp at the news that he knew the seal had been broken.

"eric, you really should've said something," jacob says, and eric wants to cry at the apparent thinly veiled disappointment underlying the concern in his voice.

"i'm sorry, i just, i never imagined someone would want to do something like this, i—" the tears finally break, and he covers his whole face with his hands as if that can hide it. for some reason, eric hasn't really been worried about it being dangerous up until now. there's nothing about it that makes him feel _bad_ , really. just... overwhelmed, like what he would normally feel but multiplied times a thousand, and for some reason, impossible to solve on his own.

"it's okay, eric, please don't cry, we're just worried about you." sangyeon leans in to give him a hug over the blankets, and eric whimpers and shakes at the feeling of his warm body draping over him. it's like it's impossible to have even one moment of clarity while this _thing_ is in his system.

"please don't touch me, it—it makes it worse..."

sangyeon pulls away, mumbling his apologies.

"i think we should take you to the hospital, this could be dangerous." eric chances a look over at jacob, and his face is more serious than he'd seen in a long time. it really sinks in, then, how serious it is, but despite that, panic spikes within him.

"no! no, please, i don't want to go to the hospital, i don't want anyone to see me like this," eric says through his tears. he can't help imagining everything that could go wrong if they took him out in public like this. what if the press found out, somehow? his reputation would be ruined, even though it isn't his fault that he's like this.

"have you tried, um—solving it yourself?" sangyeon flinches as he says the awkward words.

"yeah but, it didn't work." eric stutters, covering his face again and hopes they understand what he means.

"what do you mean?" hyunjae's question only incites more embarrassment in eric. he knows that they need to know as much as they can to figure out what to do, but it's still humiliating to have to talk about this kind of thing. none of them have ever talked about this kind of subject before—at least, eric hasn't—so it’s completely new territory to acknowledge it out in the open.

"like, i couldn't—please don't make me say it..."

"oh," hyunjae mutters, a shaky breath leaving him. there's another extended awkward silence in the room as they think. having them near him, and not having anything on his mind to distract him, makes the feeling so much worse than eric anticipated. thoughts start flooding his mind, thoughts he would rather stay buried, _especially_ right now.

"what do you want us to do, eric?" kevin says finally, breaking the silence. eric knows immediately what he wants them to do, what he _needs_ them to do, but whether or not he can get up the courage to ask—and whether they'd be willing—is stopping him from doing so.

all eric can do is shake his head, more tears falling from his eyes against his will. it's unbearable now, the pressure. their presence is suffocating, like something tangible pushing into his lungs and making it hard to breathe. it's already so difficult to get his thoughts in order and even converse with them, but the more it drags on the worse it gets, and every second he's around them the thoughts grow stronger, reminding him of how much bigger than him they all are, and how they—

"do you need us to help you?" kevin's words pierce his thoughts, and for a second he lays there in silence, processing.

"do you mean—"

"you said it didn't work when you tried it yourself, right? do you think it would work if we...?"

the other three seem slightly uncomfortable with the idea, but eric isn't sure. they stiffen up, shuffling away from him and letting kevin sit the closest. even if only one of them helps, it would be better than nothing. and kevin seems willing.

"but you, you don't want to, right?" eric's head is spinning. there's a part of him that wants this incredibly badly, _craves_ it, but it seems unlikely to him that they're all just completely fine with this. it's something none of them have ever talked about before or even alluded to. he isn't even sure all of them like men, and that _especially_ seems unlikely. the idea that he might force them to do something they don't want to in the name of helping him is worse than anything else.

the four of them share a look, communicating some kind of message to each other that eric finds impossible to read.

"we want to help you, eric, if that's what you need from us. i promise we don't mind." sangyeon speaks resolutely, sitting next to kevin. hyunjae and jacob stand behind them, nodding their affirmations.

the situation seems unreal, and it hits eric in that moment just how ridiculous it is. four of his hyungs are offering to—to help him, whatever that implies—because he's infected with some kind of sex drug. if he had said that sentence to himself a week ago, he would've thought he was out of his mind. he would laugh, if not for how incredibly distressed he still feels.

"okay," eric says, gathering his courage before continuing, "but i've never... with anyone."

kevin closes his eyes and lets out a deep sigh like hearing those words is devastating, and eric isn't sure in what way. hyunjae looks visibly distressed.

"it's okay, eric. here, why don't you sit up?" kevin helps eric drag himself upright and lean against the wall behind him. "hyungs, can you guys go get some—some things?"

"like what?" hyunjae says.

"like—like, a towel, and in my bedside drawer there's—" a flush colors kevin's cheeks as he stutters through the sentence, and eric finds that he likes the look on him, but he's not sure if it's just the drugged up part of his brain speaking, or all of him. it's also comforting in a way to know that despite the fact that they're all willing to help him and take charge, they're still as nervous and confused about this situation as he is.

"okay, okay, i get the idea." hyunjae flushes briefly, too, looking uncomfortably embarrassed.

as the other three leave the room, what's about to happen starts to sink in. oh _god_. eric isn't sure he's actually ready to have all his wildest fantasies fulfilled in one go. kevin must see the panic on his face, because he shuffles closer, lifting a hand up to his cheek and cradling it. his palm feels cool against his cheek, but somehow only makes him warmer.

"how are you doing?" kevin's voice is gentle, as is the thumb brushing gently across his cheek in an attempt to comfort him, and eric feels oddly like melting from the combination.

"kinda nervous." eric feels almost bashful admitting that.

"you're cute," kevin says through a giggle. it only makes eric feel shyer, even though a small smile makes its way onto his face despite that. a comfortable beat of silence passes before kevin speaks up again, this time with a much more nervous edge to his voice. "can i kiss you?"

just the idea of it makes eric feel a little bit dizzy and panicky. of course, he wants to, but he doesn't know if he can handle it without embarrassing himself somehow. not to mention the fact that he's never even kissed anyone before, and kevin most definitely has. despite that, he nods his agreement, and kevin smiles, leaning in slowly enough for eric to prepare himself.

as soon as their lips meet, eric already knows he's feeling it way more intensely than he should. it feels _incredible_ , like he could never get enough, and when kevin pulls away after only a few seconds, eric finds himself instinctively groaning in disdain and pulling kevin back in with his arms looped around his neck.

the second time is even _more_ intense somehow. eric lets himself be pressed against the wall, and it's all he can do to barely kiss back as the feeling overtakes him and totally drowns him. there's nothing better than this, there can't be.

there's something calm and collected, almost calculating about the way kevin kisses him, and the way he keeps on like that despite how messy and desperate eric responds, keeps him grounded. as much as he wants, he doesn't really know what to do and needs someone to guide him through it.

they pull away for air, to which eric whines and chases after him, but kevin pushes him back with a firm hand on his shoulder.

"breathe," he instructs, trying not to give away how ruffled he is by eric's enthusiasm. he has to stay level-headed, somehow, for both of their sakes. eric doesn't even notice how breathless he is until kevin points it out, thoughts totally consumed by when he can be kissed again.

eric tries to take deep breaths and calm himself down a little bit, but it barely works. his head is spinning and his skin is crawling with the need to be touched. he can't help but squirm where he is, still caged in by kevin and surrounded by him.

"are you okay?"

"yeah i just, i need—i need you, _please_ ," eric begs, tugging at kevin's shirt to try and pull him closer. kevin visibly gulps, before kissing him again.

there's something different about it this time. kevin tilts his head right away and opens his mouth, prying at eric's lips with his own and trying to get them to follow suit. as soon as he does, kevin's tongue is there, slipping hesitantly between his lips. it's so much—eric moans out loud, chasing after kevin's tongue with his own. he pulls his arms tighter around kevin's neck and tries to bring him closer. eric feels electrified, breathing shakily through his nose and only barely aware of how hard his heart is pounding. kevin moves closer, practically into his lap but not quite, and eric can feel how warm he is now, and how his tongue licks at the roof of his mouth, and how his hands are resting against his chest, and it's so _much_.

the feeling that's been simmering inside him for the past ten minutes, building up slowly, moves through him in a wave, filling him up and then letting go. at first, eric doesn't realize what it is, moaning wantonly into kevin's mouth and shaking in his arms as he cums. his hips are stuttering, grinding into nothing but air, and he goes limp, collapsing breathlessly onto kevin's shoulder.

"holy shit," kevin says, sounding just as breathless as he is, "did you just—" eric whines and buries himself closer in kevin's shoulder, and kevin's arms come up around his back and hold him in a hug. it's comforting as his brain tries to process what just happened.

eric doesn't have time to respond because right then, the others come back. he's not sure what took them so long, because it feels like it's been forever. right away, they take in the scene and the air in the room shifts. eric has his eyes closed and his face hidden so he doesn't know how exactly they're responding, but he can feel them carefully moving around the room, setting things down.

"what happened?" sangyeon says suddenly, breaking the awkward tension.

"i was—we were kissing and then he just—" kevin sounds bewildered, still rubbing his hands along eric's back to soothe him.

there is a purposeful silence in response that eric takes as shock. it seems like it's finally sinking in for the rest of them, too.

then, the sickly feeling comes back, spreading hot and fast through him and almost making him nauseous with how good yet desperate it feels. it's like a gnawing need to be touched, fucked, _anything_ , he just _needs_ it, fills him up to the brim until he can't do anything but whine and shake in kevin's arms.

sangyeon sits down behind eric, hands joining kevin's on his back, comforting and attempting to ground him. it does the opposite and instead makes his situation worse, and eric almost wants to cry again. being taken care of is such a nice feeling, much nicer than it should be. he just wants them to hold him and touch him and—

"eric, what do you want us to do? are you okay?" sangyeon's voice is warm and it washes over him. has his voice always been this deep? eric feels dizzy.

"touch me, please, anyone, i—" eric gets cut off when sangyeon grabs hold of his waist, gently peeling him away from where he's hidden himself in kevin. eric's eyes meet the other three in the room, and he promptly looks away, heat flushing his cheeks hotter. he knows how disheveled he must already look, how _desperate_. somehow, he can still feel shame through his haziness. maybe that's what he likes so much about it.

sangyeon leans back against the wall, holding eric against his chest. his arms are still around eric's waist, holding him close, and his legs are on either side of him, caging him in. sangyeon feels strong, bigger than him, and it's all he can focus on. eric can feel the warmth of his body seeping through him and it's suffocating. it's hard to breathe with how overwhelmed he feels, and sangyeon hasn't even done anything yet.

"can i touch you?" sangyeon says, hands lingering near the waistband of eric's sweatpants. it's the closest he's gotten to what he wants and the idea of it feels unreal, but _god_ he wants it so bad.

" _please_ ," is all eric can say in response. his eyes are still closed; he refuses to open them knowing the others are there, and probably watching. he doesn't mind them watching, but to face them head-on is much too intimidating.

sangyeon starts slow, barely letting his hands creep under eric's t-shirt and rest there. just the feeling of sangyeon's hands on his skin makes him gasp and tense up.

"relax," sangyeon says directly into his ear. his voice being so close gives him goosebumps and makes him shiver, but he tries his best to take a deep breath and let himself sink into sangyeon's arms. "that's it."

sangyeon hooks his thumbs on eric's waistband and pulls his sweatpants and boxers down. the air of the room feels cold compared to how warm and overheated he's been in his clothes and he immediately feels shy. to be so exposed in front of the others is a completely strange and yet exhilarating experience. they may have seen him partially naked on accident before, but never like _this_.

someone—he still refuses to open his eyes—tugs his pants down all the way off until his legs are bare. sangyeon's right hand slowly moves down until it wraps around eric's cock. his hand is so big that it covers it almost completely, and his touch feels like fire. eric squirms and pants in his grasp, cock twitching. sangyeon's other hand holds his hips down.

"keep still, okay? i've got you." his tone makes eric whimper, feeling an involuntary need to just melt and let sangyeon do whatever he wants. he trusts them all so much, he _needs_ them.

sangyeon starts moving his hand, slowly at first so the sensation isn't a shock. his hands are soft, but still rougher than he's used to, and even though the slide is uncomfortably dry, it feels so good it almost hurts. eric's head falls back against sangyeon's shoulder. he wants— _needs—_ to make noise so badly but he can't, so he bites his lip and holds his breath without realizing.

"you can make noise, you know. everyone else went out." hyunjae speaks up suddenly from somewhere to their left. it surprises eric, who had, for a moment, forgotten that there were other people in the room with them. at the reminder, eric covers his face with his hands again. he knows he needs to, but the idea of letting himself go completely in front of them is mortifying. sangyeon's hand doesn't stop with the conversation, and eric finds it harder and harder to hold back.

"you have nothing to be embarrassed about," kevin says, placing a hand on eric's bare thigh. eric gasps at the contact, legs twitching. "it's just us."

the words barely have meaning through his lust-addled mind, but combined with sangyeon's hand slowly speeding up, it's enough to push eric past the point of caring. sangyeon tightens his grip, twisting his palm over the head of eric's cock and spreading the precum around. eric's hips stutter where they're still held down and he moans. in response, sangyeon sucks in a breath, clearly affected by the sound. kevin's fingers dig into his thigh a little more forcefully.

eric's ridiculously sensitive everywhere today, but somehow sangyeon seems to know the best places to touch and how to turn him into a mess in hardly any time at all. already, he feels himself getting close to the edge. this time, it's more like what he's used to and it doesn't sneak up on him like it did with kevin. it's like now that he's already cum once, it'll take longer for him to cum the next time. briefly, he wonders how many times he'll have to cum before it's over.

" _aah_ , hyung!" eric cries when sangyeon moves his hands just right. it sends waves through him, toes curling and fingers twisting white-knuckled in the sheets.

"are you close?" jacob says suddenly, to their right. he must have moved closer at some point without him noticing. all eric can do is nod, frantic. jacob gently peels his hand from where it's tangled and holds it, letting him grip his hand as tightly as he needs to. it's weirdly tender for the situation they're in but eric appreciates it nonetheless.

sangyeon puts both hands on his cock, moving them out of sync, and eric keens, tensing up before falling back against sangyeon's chest again. a couple more strokes is all it takes before he finally cums, going completely slack in sangyeon's hold. it's powerful, and eric groans, unable to do anything else as he lays squirming under sangyeon's still-moving hands. after a moment, eric's whimpers turn painful from overstimulation, even though he's still hard. sangyeon stops, holding him and whispering praises instead as he comes down from the high.

jacob lets go of eric's hand to reach for his shirt, and tries to pull it off. eric is too out of it to realize what he's doing at first, but when he looks down and sees the obvious stain on his shirt he understands and helps as much as he can. jacob gets rid of the shirt—eric doesn't see where—and then puts his hand on eric's forehead. his palm feels nice and cool against eric’s burning skin, and he sighs.

"you're still burning up," jacob comments, to which eric helpfully groans. weakly, he turns his head to look at jacob, and they meet eyes.

"more," eric mumbles, still panting, and it's as much as he can make himself do. the look on jacob's face is worth it, because he looks stunned and turned on all at once, and flinches at himself a second later like he knows he shouldn't be into this. however, none of them can deny the fact that eric clearly still needs them. his cock is still hard and dripping, the tip turning an angry purple from overuse. his face is red and the flush spreads down to his chest.

distantly, eric wonders how he's still conscious. his head is so muddled that he can barely think, and it feels like he's swimming in desperation and pleasure, every inch of his skin alight with sensitivity. all he can think about is getting more more _more_ , and how he needs to be touched again as soon as possible. he had hoped that after cumming again he would be more lucid, but it seems to have had the opposite effect. he needs the others to step up, because actually verbalizing his needs is next to impossible, his tongue thick and hard to control like it's foreign to him. they still seem nervous and unsure of what to do, even though it should be obvious.

jacob is still thinking, looking like he's trying to find exactly the right words before eric interrupts him.

"fuck me." it's easy for eric to say now, brain too hazy to acknowledge embarrassment or shame. it's a pure need that he has and it shows.

jacob gulps.

"who—who do you want to—to um..." hyunjae says, still struggling through the sentence, like he didn't expect eric to be so bold. in fact, probably none of them did.

"anyone," eric closes his eyes and his head lolls back against sangyeon's shoulder. the aggressive desperation and insistence is starting to plague him again, overtaking the haziness and pervasive want and turning into something more demanding. it aches, and he has to hold himself back from begging for it.

"eric, have you ever, um..." kevin puts his hand back on eric's thigh, probably in an attempt to soothe him, but it just makes him whimper again. eric shakes his head. "not even to yourself?" he shakes it again, wishing that kevin would just hurry it up already. some part of him understands that they need to be careful with him but he doesn't care, he needs to be fucked _now_.

kevin turns away, mumbling to hyunjae who reaches for something on the table and hands it to him. eric cracks his eyes open a little more; it's a small bottle, made of transparent blue plastic, and he can see that there's some kind of liquid inside. lube, his brain helpfully supplies.

"i'm going to prep you, okay? you have to tell me if it hurts, or if you want me to slow down." kevin grabs his thighs, gently pushing them apart and up so his feet rest on the bed, and his knees are bent. he settles between them.

"i can't," eric mumbles as best he can, "can't think."

"then, how about this: squeeze jacob's hand if it hurts or anything like that, and i'll stop. is that okay?" at this, jacob grabs his hand again, squeezing it for reassurance. it seems easy enough, and it would definitely be easier to squeeze than have to try and verbalize what's bothering him.

"i will."

"okay, good." kevin smiles, soft and reassuring, like he's trying to make him as comfortable as possible. it's nice, and it helps. eric does his best to return the smile.

eric watches kevin coat his index finger in the lube, before capping the bottle and setting it aside. eric's heart rate kicks up in his chest, knowing what's coming. earlier in the shower, he had been so unsure about the idea, considering he had absolutely no idea what to expect. at least kevin seems much more knowledgeable than him on the subject, so he lays back, still comfortable in sangyeon's arms, and lets him.

the tip of kevin's finger is cold where it meets eric's rim, not pressing but just there, and eric shivers. it doesn't seem like it would be too difficult to have inside of him, so eric takes a deep breath, and anticipates his next movement. slowly, _slowly_ , kevin pushes his finger inside. for a second, it just feels strange, but not bad. it's just something he's never felt before. as his finger goes deeper, even only by a slight amount, it starts to feel different.

eric looks down again and sees that kevin's finger is all the way inside, down to the knuckle. the imagery is enough to make his cock twitch, and make him aware of just how full he is now. his breath leaves him shakily, and he tries to take deep breaths to avoid panting too soon. it's good, he realizes somewhat belatedly. it feels good to be filled, even by just this much, and sets him alight in a way he's never experienced, like he wants to crawl out of his skin because it's so _much_. but, he doesn't, and just shifts his hips towards kevin in a hint to continue.

kevin starts fucking him with his finger, still moving slowly and being far too cautious. this feels different, too, in a good way. the fact that he's actually being fucked makes him whine and tremble.

"how does it feel?" sangyeon says, directly into his ear. his voice sounds rougher than usual, and for a moment eric wonders if he's being affected more strongly by this scenario than he anticipated.

"feels good," eric is breathless and already panting from the sheer overwhelmingness of it. despite how good it feels, after a minute or two it starts to feel like it's not enough.

luckily, kevin seems to sense this, because he pulls out his finger for a second to add more lube, and add a second one back alongside it. the stretch is definitely more, and it takes eric a second to get used to it, so he's infinitely grateful to kevin for giving him one. once he does, he realizes just how much _better_ it is, and wiggles his hips again to signal for kevin to start moving them.

this time, he goes even slower, and eric would complain, but he can't deny the fact that it almost feels better when he takes his time. something about the drag of his fingers inside of him, and the feeling of being filled back up over and over again—it's intoxicating. eric's been making noise without even realizing it, sensation so good that he keeps getting lost in it.

suddenly, kevin presses even deeper than before, curling his fingers upwards, and eric jolts at the sudden rush of pleasure. all of his focus turns to that one spot, begging internally for kevin to keep touching him there, but he stops after only a few seconds before going back to stretching him. eric's begging becomes audible when he whines involuntarily, craving that feeling again. kevin shushes him gently, rubbing a hand up and down one of his thighs in an attempt to calm him. eric wants to complain, wants to beg and insist and be bratty, but he doesn't have it in him, so he lets himself be tortured. eric won't admit it, but it almost feels better for kevin to tease him, only letting his fingertips dance around that spot instead of pressing directly on it.

after some time, kevin adds a third finger. eric almost expects the stretch to become painful, because visually it seems impossible that three of kevin's fingers are fitting so well inside of him, but it isn't painful at all. it feels like he could take more without needing any more prep, especially with how careful kevin's been, but he knows that if he brings it up they'll brush him aside. they want to be as gentle as possible, especially given that this is eric's first time. so, he waits it out, but he doesn't hold himself back from squirming and moaning as much as possible, just to let them know how ready he is.

when eric seems loose enough, kevin pulls his fingers free.

"okay, eric, are you ready?" eric cracks his eyes open. kevin is flushed, too, now, and he looks incredibly nervous. eric nods, hoping his enthusiasm will show. "who...?"

"don't care, just need someone," eric mumbles. in his attempt to not slur his words, his lisp shines through prominently.

kevin looks around to the others, and eric wonders why kevin won't just do it himself. luckily, hyunjae asks for him.

"why don't _you_ just...?" hyunjae gestures vaguely towards eric.

"um... i don't really like to be... on top," kevin says with a nervous laugh. "why don't you do it, hyung?"

"um..." hyunjae trails off, looking at eric. they meet eyes, and instantly, hyunjae flushes. eric realizes the image must be a lot to take in. everyone's turned to him expectantly, waiting for him to make a decision, and eric is in the middle of them, completely naked and already fucked open by kevin's fingers. after a few seconds of internal deliberation, it seems like he comes to a conclusion. "okay, okay. i will."

right away, the others move around to give him room. sangyeon, much to eric's disappointment, moves out from behind him and gently settles eric on the pillows. jacob leaves the bed entirely, and kevin sits next to eric at the head of the bed. this way, hyunjae has plenty of room.

it's almost intimidating, now, to face hyunjae like this. eric never expected anything like this to happen between them, not by a long shot. hyunjae always seemed to view him like a brother, and eric didn't really mind that at all normally. it meant they could play around together, and that hyunjae would dote on him and look after him often. however, eric had always felt a hesitant attraction towards him that he knew would be out of the question to even consider acting on. hell, before this, eric had assumed hyunjae was straight. but if he's willing to have sex with eric, it doesn't seem so likely.

hyunjae approaches the bed, stripping off his clothes in the process. first, he loses his shirt, and eric lets himself openly ogle his body. he doesn't have anything to hide, now. next, he awkwardly shuffles off his pants, and eric only has a second to stare at his cock before hyunjae climbs on top of him, holding himself up on his hands and knees.

"you're hot," eric blurts out before he can stop himself. the random compliment makes hyunjae's face break into a grin that almost seems shy, and eric revels in it.

even though eric still feels that nagging insistence to be fucked, he doesn't want to rush into it. after all, hyunjae seems almost more nervous than he is. eric loops his arms around hyunjae's neck and brings him in closer to kiss him. it's only his second kiss in his life, so he's probably not very good, but hyunjae seems appreciative of the buildup anyways and kisses him back with fervor. kissing hyunjae is much different from kissing kevin. his lips are plush, but a little chapped, and overall he's more sloppy, like he just can't control himself. eric loves it.

hyunjae slips his tongue into eric's mouth fast, and eric wonders if maybe he's not the only one who's desperate. he's messy, _very_ messy, and eric feels drool dripping out the side of his mouth already. normally, he might be disgusted by it, but in the moment he just finds it incredibly, ridiculously hot. eric moans into hyunjae's mouth and tugs him even closer. they kiss like that for a little while longer, kisses getting hotter by the second until they're both panting against each other's mouths. it's like they didn't know how badly they wanted to kiss each other until they did, especially on hyunjae's part, who almost seems stunned at his own eagerness.

"hyung," eric pants against his mouth, "please."

hyunjae wipes the drool off of eric lips with a thumb, nodding. he sits back on his knees, and pushes eric's thighs towards his chest for a better angle. eric feels a hint of that shyness come back at the picture of hyunjae standing over him, completely naked and hard, but he lets hyunjae continue manhandling him until he's in a good position. then, he grabs his cock, coats it with more lube, and gently presses it against eric's rim. eric's breath catches in his chest with the anticipation.

slowly, hyunjae pushes himself inside, and eric holds his breath. hyunjae is much thicker than he seems, _much_ thicker than fingers. his cock is _hot_ too, and eric, for some reason, didn't expect that. it doesn't hurt, not by a long shot, but the stretch is indescribable; eric's never felt anything like it. hyunjae stops when just the tip is inside, and tries to catch his breath. again, he looks stunned by the fact that he's about to fuck eric.

"are you—is it—okay?" hyunjae pants.

"yeah," eric says, just as breathless. hyunjae takes that as a sign to keep moving, so he does, inching forward as slow as physically possible, probably not only for eric's benefit but for his own, because he looks about three seconds away from snapping.

it feels unbelievable to be pushed open like this, and eric still wonders why it isn't hurting. it really seems like it should be, but all he feels is _full_ and _good_ , his body thrumming with a feeling of completion, like he's finally getting what he needs. it feels overwhelming and relieving in a way, and eric wants to sink into the feeling and never leave. it's so overwhelming that he begins to lose his sense of concentration again. eric hadn't even noticed when some of his clarity had come back until it started receding, and he would bemoan the loss if not for how much he didn't care about anything except being fucked.

when hyunjae's all the way inside, he collapses onto his hands again, hovering over eric. it feels nice, to be so full and so surrounded by hyunjae. he needs hyunjae so badly, needs to be fucked, nothing else matters, and it's all he can think through how dizzy he is.

"okay, okay, calm down," hyunjae says, looking flustered, and for a second eric wonders why he said that before realizing that he'd accidentally vocalized his thoughts. oh well. it didn't matter if it meant that hyunjae would fuck him faster.

hyunjae pulls out, before pushing back in, not too fast but not too slow. it feels heavenly, and punches a moan from eric's chest. god, he's so _full._

hyunjae manages to build up a rhythm until he's snapping his hips against eric's ass, and all eric can do is lay there and take it. his eyes roll back into his head when hyunjae hits that spot, and he moans so loud that kevin, who's still sitting next to him apparently, gasps. no one but them is home, so it doesn't matter, but the volume of it still surprises them. eric grasps hyunjae's arms, digging his nails into his biceps with the need to hang onto something as hyunjae fucks him and hits that spot over and over and over again, slowly but surely melting his brain into absolutely nothing but need.

eric's eyes close and his head lolls to the side, and he feels more drool drip out of his open mouth against his will. he doesn't care. kevin brushes his thumb against it, and eric opens his eyes to meet his. kevin looks shaken to the core by eric's expression. he must look completely fucked out. there's something kind of sick about being fucked while three other men watch you, and it only fans the flame, especially knowing how much all of them are fighting themselves inside.

hyunjae stops for a moment, choosing instead to roll his hips, grinding his cock in a circular motion against eric's prostate.

" _yes_ ," eric gasps and moans, arching his back and digging his nails into hyunjae's arms even harder. when hyunjae doesn't stop, it almost becomes too much, and eric's legs thrash. his eyes tear up, and his gasps sound almost like dry sobs, and he can't figure out what to do because the intensity of it blacks out all other thought. he wants it to stop but at the same time he wants it to go on forever. just as eric is about to tell hyunjae to stop from the overstimulation, he does, and starts fucking him again in earnest.

hyunjae leans in close, kissing his neck and groaning into his ear. through his haze, eric realizes that it's satisfying to know hyunjae is getting something out of this, too, and isn't just servicing him. his pace gets faster and faster, and his kisses get sloppier. eric can tell he's gonna cum soon; every time hyunjae fucks into him it gets worse, until he can barely breathe and has to concentrate on not breathing erratically. it's still nearly impossible, and he feels like he won't actually cum unless he stops thinking about it. it's frustrating, and kevin seems to sense it, because he leans forward and reaches in between them for eric's cock.

"just let go, eric," he says, jerking eric's cock quickly in his hand. it's the last push he needs before he goes over the edge again, and this time it's much more intense than the last, and completely different, too. instead of just coming from his cock, it feels like the orgasm spreads through his whole body, and it does so gradually instead of quickly. it's addictive, and eric moans, sounding almost pained as he throws his head back once again.

above him, hyunjae cusses and groans, pace getting more sloppy as he tries to fuck through eric's tightness. it's good, makes his orgasm last longer and eric completely lets himself go, only feeling instead of thinking anything at all. eventually, hyunjae cums too and buries himself all the way inside, filling him up with his cum. eric can feel it—hot and wet and _filling_ him, and it's wonderful, fulfilling everything his body is begging and aching for.

it takes a minute for hyunjae to calm down completely before he pulls out and leaves eric feeling strangely hollow. he doesn't like the feeling, and whimpers at the loss. despite how incredible that was, there's still something off. he doesn't feel right, doesn't feel satisfied anymore. whatever poison is inside of him barely gives him a few minutes to enjoy the afterglow before pressing at him again, throbbing quietly until it's almost drowning him, flushing his veins all at once. it still needs more.

eric whimpers again and this time the tears start to fall; he curls in on himself. immediately, everyone is concerned, awe at the previous heat of the moment gone and all of their focus on him. kevin is closest to him, and speaks to him in calm and soft tones, gently brushing the bangs back from his face in an attempt to soothe.

"hey, hey, what's wrong? why are you crying, baby?" despite his distress, it feels nice to hear kevin call him that. no one's ever really called him baby before, not so directly and not in this context.

"it's not _over_ , wan' it to be over," eric says through his sobs. the others pet his hair, his back, his legs, to try and soothe him.

kevin's eyes flit to his cock, and he sighs when he confirms for himself that it's still hard. the last time he came, hardly anything dribbled out, as it's already been pushed past its normal function after cumming three times. it's a miracle that it's still hard at all.

"did it hurt? do you feel okay?" kevin says, worry seeping through his words.

"no, it just—it's a _lot_." eric sniffles, still crying a little bit where he lays next to kevin. eric's right—he's experienced so many new things today, it must be incredibly overwhelming. it makes sense that he wants it to stop. that, and the fact that his situation was brought upon him against his will, must be terrifying. the thought that it might never stop crosses his mind and he sobs harder.

"eric, you're gonna be fine, okay? i promise. we'll take care of you. just breathe." kevin says it with such certainty that eric almost wants to believe it. neither of them know for sure, of course, but his instincts tell him that he's right. his hyungs will take care of him, and he'll be okay in the end. it's not like the process is exactly... _unpleasant,_ either. it's just scary. but, eric will admit that the amount of kindness and understanding the others have shown towards him is helping calm him down a great deal, and eventually he stops crying.

"i'm okay," eric croaks, wiping at his eyes. now that he's come down from his panic, he feels almost embarrassed by it, but none of the members seem to mind at all. they just seem concerned—and now relieved that he's alright.

"do you want to try something different for a bit?" kevin seems nervous as he says it, like he's worried eric will reject him.

"like what?"

"well, i don't know if it would help, but it might be nice to give yourself a little break," kevin pauses, collecting himself before continuing. "you could try sucking me off, if you want."

the idea definitely seems appealing. eric’s never done that either, of course, but he’s tried so many new things today that he doesn’t see the harm in adding another thing to the list. that being said, he’s more nervous about fucking up and making himself look stupid in front of kevin, and the others, than anything. kevin seems to sense his apprehension.

“don’t worry about being good at it, okay? that’s not the point. it’s more like—i don’t know about you, but for me… i find it relaxing to—to have something in my mouth sometimes?” kevin cringes as he says it, covering half of his face with a hand like it was difficult to say, and embarrassing to admit. eric’s not sure why—it seems like a good idea. it solidifies his decision.

kevin helps him rearrange himself to lay down on his front, and they both pull kevin’s jeans down, as awkward as it is with how tight they are. for some reason, eric is surprised to see that kevin is hard. _really_ hard. he should’ve expected it, but it just… didn’t quite occur to him. eric preens at the idea that the rest of them are turned on from watching, and seeing it confirmed in front of his eyes. knowing that they want him is so satisfying.

actually having kevin’s cock in front of his face is a different experience. immediately, he feels intimidated again. his cock isn’t much bigger than eric’s; that isn’t the issue. it’s just—he has no idea what to expect. 

kevin puts a hand on the back of eric’s head, twining his fingers through his hair, and lightly encourages him to move forward. eric follows his lead, shifting forward on his front and bringing a hand up to grab kevin’s cock at the base. he’s not quite sure where to start, but he doesn’t wanna take so long that someone says something, so he decides to just go for it. 

at first, he gives kevin’s cock a short lick on the head, just to acquire the taste. and the taste is _definitely_ an acquired one, but not horrible. just… very, very different. the breath that kevin sucks in when he takes another lick is encouraging, and he decides to be more bold, putting the tip into his mouth. kevin gasps, hand tightening in his hair, and eric takes that as a sign that he’s doing something right, so he keeps going, moving his mouth down as far as he can go without gagging.

kevin is right about it. there is something oddly relaxing about having his mouth full. it doesn’t overwhelm him in the slightest, doesn’t give him that craving to be fucked that he’s infected with. it’s just… nice. eric remembers reading something about oral fixations once and wonders if that’s what it is.

eric keeps moving, realizing he can’t just sit there with cock in his mouth. he bobs his head up and down, before pulling away to lick up the side. as he does, he strains himself to look up at kevin as best as he can, and the sight he’s rewarded with is well worth it. kevin looks overwhelmed, out of breath and in disbelief at what’s happening, and knowing that he’s the cause of it fuels his ego. this time, he tries taking more, pushing himself to the limit and trying not to gag. he swirls his tongue around kevin’s cock inside his mouth to distract him from his struggles.

a strange sort of calm washes over him as he continues, recycling and repeating those same actions as kevin gets more and more riled up and closer to the edge. it feels nice to have something to keep him occupied, and to do something for someone else, but it’s still so lewd that it satisfies his needs, even if only for the time being. it’s like the distraction is deemed acceptable for whatever has hold of him.

when eric manages to sink down further than he’s gone in one go, until kevin’s cock hits the back of his throat, kevin moans out loud, hips barely holding themselves back from stuttering forward to fuck eric’s mouth. the idea isn’t something eric’s opposed to, just maybe not for his first time ever having someone’s cock in his mouth.

eric only pulls away at kevin’s insistence—at the fingers tugging his hair. when he looks up to ask why, kevin looks even more ruffled than before. it’s a nice look on him.

“i’m gonna cum, can i, um—” kevin gulps, “can i cum on your face?”

the image makes eric flush and shiver, so he nods his agreement and closes his eyes. kevin jerks himself off quickly and cums fast, moaning through it. his cum hits eric’s face hot, and he jolts in place, not quite expecting it. kevin is careful, and manages to not get any in his eyes or hair. it feels dirty, but eric loves it.

when kevin finally stops, eric opens his eyes and looks up at him. kevin groans again, and grabs eric’s chin with his clean hand.

“ _god_ , just look at you…” he says, trailing off at the end like he doesn’t quite know what else to say. eric supposes that there _isn’t_ much more to say; he can imagine full well what he must look like right now. kevin’s inspection makes him blush again, and he averts his eyes.

“thank you eric, you did a good job.” eric flushes harder at the praise, small smile finding his lips. kevin heaves one last sigh of relief before fixing his pants, and going to clean himself up. while he shuffles off to the side to do that, jacob steps in, cleaning eric’s face with a damp rag. he must’ve stepped out at some point to get one, and eric feels flattered that he thought of it in the first place.

jacob helps eric sit up on the bed, folding his legs under him. for once, he feels like he has enough energy to actually keep himself upright, and he thanks whatever forces in the universe allow him to have this while he can, because he knows that inevitably, he won’t be this clear-headed or have this much energy for long.

hyunjae, now fully dressed and cleaned up, brings eric some water, and he sips at it, extremely grateful. he doesn’t even notice how thirsty he is until he drinks some of it, and then proceeds to gulp almost the entire glass in one go.

his moment of rest doesn’t last long, because as soon as hyunjae takes the empty glass from him, that feeling hits eric again, _hard_. it’s so strong that he doubles over, groaning like he’s been punched. it feels almost sickening, how strong it is, like it’s reminding him that it’s still not over yet. eric drags in a deep breath, trying not to wheeze as the heat hits him in waves like a fever. already, he’s sweating again, feeling so hot he can’t think. it’s horrible, and the others can see it too, because they swarm around him, unsure what to do.

sangyeon is the one who decides to take the initiative and actually help him. clearly, he can’t vocalize exactly what he wants, but it’s obvious what’s happening. sangyeon, now shirtless, leans back against the wall like he had done before, and pulls eric back against his chest and in between his legs. instantly, eric feels some relief at the skin-to-skin contact, and he heaves a shuddering sigh. sangyeon’s arms wrap around him, trying to ground him and make him feel safe. one of his hands rubs circles on his stomach, where he’s sensitive, and it feels nice.

“you need more, right eric?” sangyeon says into his ear, using his most gentle tone. his voice is smooth and pretty like honey, and eric sighs, nodding his head in response. “do you want jacob to fuck you now?”

just those words have eric whimpering. _yes_ , he wants it so bad, wants jacob inside, fucking him stupid and empty, needs it more than he can say. he nods his head frantically, unable to speak. all he can do is look at jacob, hoping that he can see how much he needs it in his eyes.

jacob looks unsure of himself only for a moment, before calm resolution takes over. he stands up, stripping his shirt off, before crawling on top of eric. even jacob being this close to him has him shaking and needy, knowing how close he is, and yet he still isn’t fucking him. why? doesn’t he know how badly he needs it?

for a moment, jacob just looks him over, an unfamiliar but authoritative look in his eyes. then, he grabs eric’s chin in one hand, and leans in to kiss him. it’s just a peck, only lasting a few seconds long, but it’s so, _so_ nice.

“you’ll be a good boy for me, right eric?” jacob says, and his voice drips into his brain and makes him feel like he’s floating. eric isn’t quite sure what he means by that, but he’ll do anything for jacob, so he nods again. jacob smiles, sweet but calculating. he moves back a little bit, and pushes eric’s thighs up to get a better view of his hole. sangyeon helps, moving his arms from where they are around eric’s waist to hold his legs behind the knee instead, and keep them pulled back. jacob spreads his hole, cursing under his breath at the sight. eric can see from here that he’s still loose, and still filled with hyunjae’s cum. the idea that he’s about to be filled with cum _again_ has him panting.

jacob stands up again, and eric’s desperate, pitiful gaze trails after him, but he doesn’t stray far, only getting up so that he can take off his pants more easily. jacob settles on his knees back on the bed and stares at him. eric stares back, taking him in. where he’s seen a few glimpses of the others naked before… he’s never seen jacob. it’s a lot to process, but eric drinks it all in.

“you look so pretty like this… so desperate for me.” eric squirms under his gaze. the compliment makes him feel mushy inside. he wants to be pretty; he’s glad jacob finds him to be.

then, jacob has the lube in his hand, retrieved from wherever hyunjae left it, and he’s slicking up his cock. he probably doesn’t really need it, but better safe than sorry. jacob leans over eric, getting in close, and kisses him as he guides himself inside. as soon as the tip breaches eric’s rim, he feels nearly satiated. he sighs through his nose as he kisses jacob lightly, reveling in the feeling of being full again. jacob’s cock presses at his insides in all the right ways, fitting inside him perfectly. he feels complete.

once he’s all the way inside, jacob rights himself, sitting up straight. he exchanges sangyeon’s hands on eric’s legs for his own, and one of sangyeon’s arms wraps back around his waist, while the other grabs eric’s hand.

“squeeze if you want to stop, remember?” sangyeon says, and eric nods, squeezing his hand to let him know he understands.

finally, _finally_ , jacob starts fucking him. he uses the hold he has on eric’s legs for leverage, fucking him in long, slow strokes. his cock is longer than hyunjae’s, so it goes even deeper inside him and right away, eric almost wants to cry from the feeling.

jacob’s gaze is so piercing, it heats eric right down to his core and makes him blush. just as he considers looking away, jacob changes his angle and hits his prostate. eric keeps his eyes locked on jacob’s, gasps quickly turning into moans as jacob focuses there and doesn’t let up. despite how much abuse his prostate has already taken today, he doesn’t feel oversensitive anymore, and instead it feels brand-new. it still feels intense, though, as eric has come to realize, and jacob’s unrelenting pace is almost cruel. when it gets to be too much, eric moans so loud it sounds more like a shout, and he arches his back in sangyeon’s hold. eric didn’t even know he could _make_ a sound like that. sangyeon moves his hand from eric’s waist to cover his mouth. even though no one else is home, that alone was so loud the neighbors might hear if they aren’t careful.

at this point, eric starts to lose his ability to concentrate completely. his surroundings fade away until all he knows is feeling, and he shouts over and over again underneath sangyeon’s palm as jacob fucks him thoroughly. he feels like he could cum—actually, he’s felt like he’s close to cumming for a while now, but it just won’t happen. eric balances right on the precipice, and it’s so close he can taste it, but something is stopping it from happening. eric squeezes sangyeon’s hand hard, just like he’s been told to, and immediately, sangyeon tells jacob to stop. jacob follows suit, pulling out as gently as he can and hovering just above eric, so he’s close by but not smothering him. sangyeon’s hand falls from eric’s mouth and rubs circles over his stomach again to help him settle down.

“what’s wrong, eric? did i hurt you?” jacob says, cautionary. he’s incredibly out of breath, and eric gets the feeling that jacob had also been close. he feels almost bad about asking them to stop, now, but he never would’ve cum like that.

eric shakes his head, still trying to catch his own breath and summon the brainpower to form sentences. he’s still reeling from how intense it was, and trying to wrap his head around it.

“i can’t cum,” he finally manages, head slumping onto sangyeon’s shoulder.

“what do you mean?” sangyeon sounds concerned, and confused.

“i don’t know, i just couldn’t—i need more.”

“more?” jacob joins sangyeon in his confusion, and the unsaid question is clear: how?

eric nods, hoping they’ll figure something out for him, and help him, because he can’t fucking think anymore. all he knows is that he needs _more_ somehow and he needs to cum as soon as possible, or else—he doesn’t know. but the need is impending, looming above him somehow.

jacob seems frustrated, but not with eric. more at the fact that this is so difficult for all of them. getting to the point where they thought fucking him would do the trick made all of them relax too much. now, it seems to be much stronger, almost _picky_ about what qualifies as good enough to work. and eric is suffering because of it, much more than any of them want to allow.

then, it hits him. eric sees the idea strike him because his face lights up, before he immediately flushes and hides his face with a hand. eric doesn’t get to see jacob being embarrassed about anything very often, so he wonders what he thought of that could be _that_ much for him.

“i don’t know if this is a good idea… i really don’t want you to get hurt…” jacob looks genuinely torn on whether to even tell them about it, because he’s so concerned about eric’s safety. while he finds it touching, there are more pressing matters at hand. by all definitions, eric shouldn’t have been able to be fucked so much during his first time. he knows from the bare minimum of research that he’s done in the past that it can be tricky, and is often painful for first-timers. for eric it was _easy_. there’s something within him that doubts anything could seriously injure him right now, probably due to the drugs in his system. later, he would probably be sore as fuck, but not in the moment.

“just say it, jacob,” sangyeon says. eric is thankful he said something, because he doesn’t think he could manage anything very complicated yet.

“we could try, um, well—i’ve mostly seen it in porn,” jacob cringes at his own comment, “but what about double penetration? um, me and sangyeon at the same time?” it seems like it was physically painful for him to say that, and internally, eric applauds his effort, and also his brain for thinking something like that up on the spot. eric has never seen this particular thing before, or heard of it, but it sounds exactly like what he needs. even the idea of taking them both at once, and being stretched that wide makes him feel dizzy again.

“that seems dangerous,” hyunjae pipes up from across the room. eric didn’t even realize that he’s still here, but apparently he is.

“we could take it really slow. i mean, he’s already so—whatever is wrong with him is already making his body capable of taking more than it should be able to, so it might be okay, as long as we’re careful.” sangyeon supplies his thoughts on the idea, and eric is once again thankful that someone in their group is so levelheaded. it makes him feel like he’s in good hands.

“eric? what do you think about this?” jacob says, looking him in the eyes.

“please, want it,” eric says with all of his will, “i trust you.”

after that, jacob and sangyeon spend some time talking to each other about the logistics. eric couldn’t care less and zones out, focusing on the timbre of their voices instead of the words they’re saying. he trusts them to figure it out. after they talk it out, they readjust their positions. sangyeon moves aside for a moment to take his pants off, and then goes back to where he was before. however, this time, they ask eric to sit up on his lap, so sangyeon can fuck him first.

eric complies, pushing himself up onto his shaky legs with their help, before sitting on sangyeon’s cock and sinking all the way down. it feels good to have something inside of him again, but that nagging feeling in the back of his head that it isn’t enough still rings loud and clear. sangyeon pants into his ear, but still has enough clarity in him to hold eric’s legs up in the air. the position is almost uncomfortable, but it’s necessary for jacob to be able to reach.

jacob grabs the lube again, this time coating his fingers, and eric gets the general idea of what’s about to happen next. the small, remaining rational part of him worries that he _won’t_ be able to take it, because logically it seems ridiculous. however, logic has been completely defied today, so if it works it won’t be a miracle. just a solution to an ever-growing problem.

they make sure eric is in the most comfortable position he can be in, and then jacob presses his index finger to eric’s rim, right next to where sangyeon’s cock is already filling him up. sangyeon breathes shakily at the added sensation. gently, jacob prods at eric’s rim, testing it to see if it has any give at all. surprisingly, it does. not much, but just enough for jacob to wiggle his finger in between eric’s walls and sangyeon’s cock.

it should hurt. it should _absolutely_ hurt, and for a moment, eric thinks he feels it sting. however, it barely hurts at all, and after a second, the feeling is gone and replaced by pure need. they’re definitely on the right track, because the added pressure of just one of jacob’s fingers feels amazing. he can’t even imagine what it’ll be like with both of them completely inside of him. the idea makes him feel shaky and faint, and he squirms his hips, trying to signal to jacob to keep going before it gets worse.

on his signal, jacob starts moving his finger in and out, slowly so that both of them get used to it. already, eric is panting, hyperfocused on every inch of jacob’s fingers pressing into his walls. the fit is so tight that it’s impossible for him _not_ to feel it. sangyeon is still panting, too, right into his ear, and eric briefly wonders how it feels to him. it must feel similarly overwhelming, because his grip on eric’s legs tightens the faster jacob moves his finger.

after what feels like way too long, jacob carefully removes his finger to add another alongside it, making sure to add plenty more lube in between. the addition this time is similarly painful, but again, only for a few seconds before eric feels the pressure shoot right into his stomach, and he moans at the stretch. eric feels like he should be fighting it, like it’s too _much_ , but he can’t. it feels so, so, incredibly good that all he can do is relax into it, and coax jacob into giving him more.

jacob’s fingers press inside him harder now, and attempt to scissor him open. at first, the tightness makes it near impossible, but eventually eric relaxes enough that he can, and sangyeon cusses into eric’s ear with all the movement. eric feels similarly, though he feels more stunned into silence than anything. he pants shallowly where sangyeon holds him, eyes closed and unable to think about anything except how full he is, and how he still somehow needs _more_.

eventually, jacob seems to sense this, and pulls out his fingers once more to add a third this time. it finally hurts a little, much more than a slight sting, but it doesn’t venture into unpleasant at all. it feels more like just part of the process, and almost a welcome one. eric isn’t sure if it’s because his head is muddy, but he almost wants it to hurt _more_ , if that means he’ll get what he needs. still, he can’t control his reaction, and jacob notices him tensing up a little, and holding his breath to try and get through it.

“should i stop?” jacob sounds concerned, fingers going still inside of him so that he lowers the chance of accidentally hurting him even more. eric still finds it too difficult to speak, so he just shakes his head, being sure that he makes eye contact with jacob so that he’ll understand him completely. 

reluctantly, jacob keeps moving, pressing his fingers further inside until they’re down to the knuckle, fitting snugly inside of him. the full stretch is so much now that eric whines without even realizing he’s doing it, head lolling back against sangyeon’s shoulder. it’s so _much_ , it feels simultaneously incredible and unbelievable. he’s not even sure how he’ll be able to take more, at this rate. he has no doubt he can physically do it, but mentally? just the idea sounds too overwhelming.

however, his body doesn’t hide how it feels about it, and instead of being reluctant like his mind is, it’s enthusiastic, and when jacob starts to fuck his fingers in and out of eric his cock twitches almost violently, dripping more precum over his stomach. it only takes a few minutes of that until eric is keening for more, panting harshly and face flushed painfully hot.

“hyung,” eric whines to jacob, feeling dizzy, “want _you_ , please.”

at his request, jacob looks unsure. before, he had been so confident, but his fear of hurting eric seems to be overpowering that now, and he looks seconds away from calling the whole thing off. eric looks jacob directly in the eyes and clenches around his fingers. at that, jacob seems to finally get the message. he pulls his fingers out, to eric’s disdain, and starts talking to sangyeon about their positioning again. eric groans out loud. can they please just hurry it up? does it even matter as long as they fuck him?

sangyeon and jacob help him up while they shuffle around, and eventually eric finds himself sitting in sangyeon’s lap, facing him. instinctively, his arms find their way around sangyeon’s shoulders, and he holds on tight as he sinks down on sangyeon’s cock once again. it’s different this time, to be facing him while they do this, and eric loves seeing sangyeon’s expression change, tightening before blissing out. sangyeon’s fingers dig into his waist, and _god_ he loves it so much. eric leans in to kiss sangyeon, overwhelmed by how much he feels, suddenly. he kisses gentler than he means to, but sangyeon kisses him back just the same, one hand leaving his waist to smooth up and down his back.

then, eric feels jacob behind him, caging him in, and suddenly he feels so small between them. it’s hot, hotter than he can imagine, to be sandwiched between the two of them, and he drinks it in, moaning into sangyeon’s mouth at the added heat. jacob holds eric by the hip, and presses his cock against eric’s stretched open rim. eric holds his breath, tucking his face into sangyeon’s shoulder in anticipation.

for a moment, jacob struggles, the tightness almost too much to penetrate, but he somehow manages to push inside. just the tip is so overwhelming that eric groans, almost _yells_ , and it sounds and feels like it was punched out of him. it _hurts_. it burns and throbs and he _loves_ it, internally begging for jacob to keep pushing into him because he can’t ask for it himself, can only groan helplessly and drool onto sangyeon’s shoulder.

jacob pushes forward, and eric starts to shake in their arms, panting wildly and sweating. it feels like he’s being split in half in the best way, and the fullness feels almost too impossible to be true. sangyeon seems to take his reaction as negative, because he reaches past eric and taps jacob on the arm, and he stops.

“i think he needs a minute,” sangyeon says, craning his head to try and see eric’s face.

“ _no_ ,” eric chokes out, loud and insistent. both of them are surprised by it, he can tell, and he would probably be surprised at his own intensity if not for how out of his mind with pleasure he feels in that moment. there’s no way for him to verbalize how strongly he needs this.

“you want us to keep going?” jacob sounds breathless, too, but he rubs a hand up and down eric’s back in an attempt to soothe him.

all eric can do is whine in response, wiggling and shifting his hips downward in an attempt to push both of their cocks further inside of him. _god_ , they’re both inside of him at the same time. it’s unbelievable.

“fuck, _fuck_ , okay,” jacob says, before readjusting his hands on eric’s hips and pushing in further. before long, he’s all the way inside. _both_ of them are, eric realizes, inside of him and surrounding him completely. the fullness burns inside of him but in a purely good way this time. his head feels blissfully empty, and he goes lax in their arms, letting them hold him up and in place.

suddenly, sangyeon adjusts his position, and just that is enough to make eric moan _loud_ , louder than he intended to. the feeling of both of them shifting just barely inside of him is already so mind blowing he’s not sure how he’ll last.

both of them hold onto him tight, before starting to thrust shallowly in and out of him. with their positioning, there isn’t much wiggle room, and there’s no place for coherence at all. it’s all they can do to barely fuck into him at all, sensation almost too much for them. there’s something addictive about it, though, even though it’s barely much of anything. it’s the stretch more than the force of their thrusts, and the way they keep stretching him over and over and over again is mind numbing and eric sinks into it, moaning and drooling wantonly and letting his thoughts slip away.

then, one of them—eric’s unsure who—changes their angle and starts fucking right against his prostate. the feeling is unreal, and eric’s jaw goes slack. it’s too intense for him to even _try_ to make noise anymore so he just lays there against sangyeon’s chest, feeling like he isn’t in control of his body anymore. the pleasure makes him shake violently, down to his bones, feeling slowly spreading throughout his body. he cums so slowly that he doesn’t even realize what’s happening at first. it feels like it takes ages to make its way through him and thoroughly ream him out, filling him up so much he has to gasp for breath. by the end of it, he’s barely conscious and only distantly aware of anything else that happens.

in his haze, he feels jacob and sangyeon pull out of him and carefully lay him down. he feels hands on him, fawning over him, cleaning him up. he feels a cold, wet, cloth on his forehead, and he sighs. he’s still awake but barely, feeling far away and too tired to care about being in the present, so he just lets it happen.

eric isn’t sure how much time passes before he’s fully awake. he blinks slowly, awareness seeping back into him like he’s slept for hours, but he doesn’t think it’s actually been that long. kevin is next to him, but he’s looking away at something else, and then he turns back with a fresh washcloth in his hand to put on eric’s forehead. when he sees that eric’s awake, he gasps.

“hyung?” eric croaks out, throat feeling incredibly hoarse and overused. his head still feels a little foggy, but not like it had before. instead he just feels incredibly, thoroughly tired from the inside out. “what happened?”

“you passed out.” kevin confirms what eric thought to be true. he’s smiling, but he seems a little shaky, and it occurs to eric that they must’ve been worried sick. “it’s over, though. you did it.”

at that, eric heaves a sigh of relief. he would cry if not for the fact that even talking is proving to be difficult. he’s never been this exhausted in his life, and wonders if he ever will be again, considering that what he just went through was practically impossible.

as soon as eric processes that it’s finally, _finally_ , over, reality hits him like a truck. his ass throbs painfully, and he feels disgusting all over, viscerally aware of how many bodily fluids he must be covered in. despite the fact that they’d seemingly cleaned him up a little, it definitely wasn’t a thorough job.

“ow,” he groans, shifting where he lays. it’s hard to move, and any effort he puts into attempting it makes his limbs shake beyond control. embarrassingly enough, he realizes somewhat belatedly that he _can’t_ move.

“what’s wrong?” hyunjae speaks up from the other side of him, and eric turns to see him there, looking deeply concerned. it touches eric to know that he’d stayed.

“my ass hurts,” eric says, before giggling weakly. it seems so ridiculous, now, that he’s not even sure everything that happened _did_ happen, or how it was possible for him to take it. it seems like as soon as whatever it was that made him that way is out of his system, he feels the true effects of their physical activity in full force.

“not too bad, i hope?” kevin smiles from beside him, helping him sit upright.

“it’s bearable,” eric replies, wincing as a particularly bad pain stabs through him.

“can you stand?” hyunjae says from in front of him, holding out his hands to assist if necessary. eric doesn’t even want to try. he could barely sit up, and needed help just for that, there’s absolutely no way he’ll be able to stand.

“i don’t think so.”

just then, sangyeon walks in. he’s wearing sweatpants, now, but remains shirtless, and eric blushes upon seeing him. despite everything that’s just happened between all of them, and in particular, between eric and sangyeon, he still feels shy seeing him in an intimate context. looking back, it felt different between them, but eric isn’t sure if he’s just imagining it because of his own desires.

“oh, you’re awake. thank god.” sangyeon gives a deep sigh of relief when he sees that eric is awake and sitting up, seemingly fine. “i ran you a bath, if you want one.”

“ _please_ ,” eric groans. just the idea makes him feel a little bit better, and his heart clenches at how thoughtful sangyeon is for doing that without even thinking about it. “i can’t walk, though.”

“i’ll carry you.” sangyeon holds his arms out in offering, a grin on his face, and moves closer to him until he’s standing right next to the edge of the bed. eric flushes, embarrassed. his proximity reminds eric that he’s still very much naked, and he curls in on himself a little. why he’s shy again, he doesn’t really know. considering everything that just happened, he doesn’t really have any right to be.

“are you sure?”

“i can carry you easily, don’t worry.” sangyeon waits to get permission, but it only takes eric a second to decide, and he nods his head in agreement. quickly, sangyeon swoops down, putting one arm under his back to support it and the other under his knees, carrying him bridal style. eric panics when he’s lifted into the air and he wraps his arms around sangyeon’s neck, clinging on for dear life. the fact that sangyeon can actually carry him like this, seemingly with ease, makes something flutter in his stomach.

sangyeon carries eric into the bathroom and gently sets him into the warm water of the bathtub. it’s been so long since he’s been able to have a bath; it feels wonderful, especially now. when sangyeon lets go, he melts into it and lets himself sink into the comfort and warmth. it seeps into him, relaxing him.

sangyeon ends up staying and helping eric wash himself, which is a little bit difficult given how exhausted he is. he would probably be able to do it despite that, but he doesn’t exactly mind letting sangyeon help. it’s really nice to feel his deft fingers massaging shampoo into his scalp, and just to be cared for in general. today’s been such a whirlwind, and a struggle, that it feels great to finally, truly relax.

after they finish washing up, eric stays in the bath, wanting to rest more, and sangyeon stays by his side.

“i wanted to talk a little. about what happened today.” at sangyeon’s words, eric’s heart rate immediately spikes in his chest. it must show on his face, because sangyeon immediately smiles, trying to ease his worries. “can you tell me more about what happened at breakfast?”

eric had told them as much as he could earlier, but it had admittedly been difficult what with all the pressure on him in the moment, as well as the relentless problem he was facing and the terrifying nature of it. now, it feels much easier to talk, so he does. he tells sangyeon everything he noticed and can remember, in detail.

“here’s what i’m going to do. i’m going to tell the manager that you were poisoned, with a strong laxative or something, and that you’re okay but it was because of the food. and i’ll tell them the seal was broken and we suspect someone did it on purpose.” eric lets out a shaky breath. the idea of that scares him, but as long as the five of them keep it a secret, no one should now what really happened to him. sangyeon seems to sense his apprehension, and grabs hold of his hand. “we’ll catch whoever did this, okay? i promise.” sangyeon’s words are genuine, and it eases some of the worries eric has. no matter what happens, he knows he can trust them.

with that out of the way, eric’s mind pushes his other worries to the front. he wants to be okay with everything that happened, and just move on with his life and forget about it, but he knows it’ll never be the same between all of them now. how can it be, when something so serious had happened between them? despite how kind everyone had been, the fear that it wasn’t actually okay with them still rings clear. the last thing he wants is for them to be disgusted with him, or hate him.

“are things gonna be weird now?” eric can’t meet sangyeon’s eyes, heart thumping in his chest at the possibility of rejection. “between all of us?”

“everything will be fine, eric, i promise. we all wanted to help you, we wouldn’t have done it if we weren’t okay with it. the others might take a little while to move past it, but they will eventually. it can just be… something that happened, and we can all forget about it.” sangyeon is resolute, looking him in the eyes as he speaks. however, he hesitates, fidgeting, before continuing. “or…”

“or?”

“it can be something more than that, if you want.” eric is stunned into silence. there’s only one thing he can imagine that meaning, but he’s too afraid to even consider it, because it feels so unreal. sangyeon is silent, too, clearly waiting for a reaction of some kind. when eric gives him none, he continues. “i can’t speak for the others, but i’ll be blunt. i like you.” sangyeon looks away, and actually _blushes_. eric wonders if he’s still asleep in bed; he barely believes it.

“do you really?” eric blurts it out, incredulous.

“i do. i didn’t plan on ever telling you, for obvious reasons, but because of the circumstances… i don’t know. you can ignore this, if you want. i just… really wanted you to know.” sangyeon looks serious now, wanting to cement his feelings into eric’s heart. there’s no doubting it now, no matter how unbelievable it still seems. when it sinks in, eric’s heart swells in his chest and he breaks into an uncertain smile.

“i like you, too.” 

it’s still hard for eric to believe that this is happening, and he’s actually confessing to sangyeon. before today, he never would’ve imagined doing this. his heart still pounds, and a nervous flush fills his cheeks.

“wh—how long?” this time, it’s sangyeon’s turn to be shocked.

“way too long,” eric replies, covering his face with a hand and laughing under his breath. it’s so embarrassing to admit to his crush, he can’t even imagine telling sangyeon to his face that it’s been going on for _years_. not yet, anyway.

“wow… what a weird way to find out, huh?” sangyeon giggles, looking sheepish and embarrassed, and eric’s glad he’s not the only one.

they fall into a slightly awkward silence, where neither of them are sure what to do next. it feels weird to just… ask each other out, like it’s a normal confession, and not something that happened spontaneously after sangyeon had seen him at his most vulnerable.

“can i kiss you?” sangyeon says suddenly, breaking the silence, and he looks almost shy, like despite their confessions, it might not be okay.

eric nods, letting sangyeon cup his face and lean in to kiss him. sangyeon is so tender with him, so gentle and full of unexpected emotion that eric almost gets choked up, but he breathes through it and holds onto sangyeon’s shoulders for support. the last thing he wants is to start crying like the sap that he is.

“i’d like if i could keep doing that. you know, like, every day,” sangyeon says once they pull apart, and he looks almost more nervous than eric feels. his awkward phrasing of the true question he wants to ask is endearing.

“i would like that.”

when the water gets cold, sangyeon helps him out of the bath. eric stands on shaky legs, feeling somewhat like a newborn deer, but sangyeon keeps him upright and wraps a towel around him, before pulling him against his chest in a hug. eric feels the exhaustion hit him again as he leans against sangyeon’s chest, and he feels himself start to nod off in the warmth of sangyeon’s arms.

then, sangyeon pulls away, smiling at eric when he sees how heavy his eyelids are. sangyeon kisses him again, so briefly that eric doesn’t even have time to react. moments later, the bathroom door opens to reveal kevin.

“oh, i hope i wasn’t interrupting anything,” he says, shuffling in and setting a pile of clothes down on the bathroom counter. eric recognizes them as his own pajamas. “come out soon, okay lovebirds?” kevin grins, before leaving and shutting the door behind him, and he does it so quickly that eric and sangyeon don’t even react to his comment until after he’s gone.

both of them are obviously embarrassed by the nickname kevin had given them, unsure what to even say, so they don’t say anything and sangyeon just helps eric finish drying off in silence. meanwhile, eric wonders how kevin had known. was there something he had said or done in the past to indicate his feelings? was there something _sangyeon_ had done, that eric didn’t know about?

eric finishes getting dressed, and sangyeon puts on shirt, too, before they head out into the living room where the others are waiting. hyunjae and kevin are on the couch, and jacob is sitting on the floor nearby. all of them are on their phones, and they try to seem casual, like they weren’t waiting for them, but it feels imposing nonetheless, and eric can’t help but hide slightly behind sangyeon as they wait to be noticed.

of course, they’re noticed right away, and it feels even worse to have all their eyes on him. eric feels frozen in place, and sangyeon isn’t much better, seemingly at a loss for words now that they’re all facing each other after calming down completely from the tension of earlier.

next to him, sangyeon takes a deep breath and grabs eric’s hand, dragging him over to the couch and setting the both of them down on it. eric is grateful when he doesn’t let go.

sangyeon explains his plan to tell the manager, letting them all in on it so they know what story to go with, and all of them agree that it sounds like the best plan. there’s still a degree of fear that eric feels about the situation as a whole, something bitter in the back of his throat as he tries not to think about what led to this happening in the first place. instead, he focuses on the warmth of sangyeon’s hand in his, looking down at the way their fingers fit together.

eventually, the conversation focuses on eric.

“how are you feeling? are you okay?” kevin directs the questions at him, and eric knows he doesn’t mean it lightly. eric is incredibly grateful that they’re checking in on him, because they all know that it can’t have been easy, physically _or_ mentally. until this moment, eric hasn’t really thought about how it’s affected him much, too preoccupied with being exhausted or kissing sangyeon. now that his mind is on the subject, he feels uneasy and isn’t sure how to answer their questions.

eric wants to tell them that he’s okay, but he’s not sure that he is. as time goes on, he’s sure his feelings on it will change, and either get worse or better, but until whoever did this to him is found, he’s not sure how okay he _can_ feel. the only thing giving him strength is knowing that he’ll have sangyeon and the others by his side, and that they’ll keep him safe.

“i’m okay.” eric decides to tell them that because it’s mostly true. he _is_ okay, the immediate problem is solved and he’s safe. and in terms of how he feels regarding what happened between him and the others, he’s definitely okay. all he can be is grateful, really, so he lets them know. “thank you guys for, um, helping me.” eric wants to say everything he’s thinking, but he can’t, overcome once again by shyness.

luckily, they seem to understand, and they all comfort him in varying degrees and make sure that they’re all on the same page. after they finish talking things through, they settle into a comfortable conversation, and the night winds down. eric still holds sangyeon’s hand, and leans into him, having checked out of socialization a while ago. the exhaustion makes itself known again, and before long, he starts to doze off against sangyeon. it’s nice and cozy, and the best part is that eric feels like he _can_ , and that no one will say a word to stop him.

at some point, eric dozed off completely, because he wakes up an unknown amount of time later to sangyeon tucking him into bed. _sangyeon’s_ bed. when sangyeon notices that his eyes are open, he sits down next to him.

“the others are washing your sheets and fixing up your room for when chanhee gets back,” he explains, “get some rest, okay? and don’t worry about anything else.” 

sangyeon leans in to kiss eric on the forehead, and through his bleariness, his heart flutters. it’s such a saccharine gesture that he can’t help it, and he smiles up at sangyeon sleepily.

after that, eric finally drifts off for the night, knowing that everything will be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> if you made it to the end, i applaud you, seriously. thank you so much for reading and if you liked it please give it a kudos and maybe a comment? i worked stupidly hard on this and would love to hear your thoughts!
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/astralmien)


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